Expectations I've Come To Expect As A Female + Why They Should Burn. Literally, Burn.


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In my short time as a living being on this earth, I've come to realise something; wherever you go, there will always be people who expect something of you. Your boss will expect you to be in on time. Your parents will expect you to clean your room. Your overlords will expect you to report back to the mothership by four o'clock or else the planet will explode.

Expectations are something we encounter on a daily basis, but when you happen to be female, those expectations suddenly get kicked up a notch. At least, this is what I've noticed. At some point in my life somebody has expressed the expectations listed below to me, and on occasion multiple people have. And I don't think I'm the only one.

Not only are these expectations and assumptions outdated as hell, I also think they can be pretty harmful. Just read them and see if you agree, because I really want to have a discussion about this.

So without further delay, let's dive straight into the ranting!

I Am Expected To Get Married At Some Point In My Life/Get Pregnant And Have The Next Brady Bunch.


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Okay, before I start into this one, let me get one thing straight: I'm not against the idea of marriage or having kids, but right now it isn't a priority for me. I want to succeed academically and get myself into a good career, which I realise can be done when married/pregnant, but I personally want to focus all of my energy into one instead of the other and if the other happens, so be it. But it really isn't priority number one for me.

And when I tell people this, they look at me like I just told them I want to live in a telephone box.

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Because God forbid I don't care about having kids.

Because possessing the ability to get pregnant must mean that I actually want to be pregnant at some stage, right? It must mean that I have to get pregnant, as is my duty to humankind as a female.

Hah. Nope.

(That being said, if you're the exact opposite, nothing wrong with that. This is just my personal opinion, so you do you.)

Oh, That Boy Pulled Your Hair/Teased You/Called You A Really Crappy Name? Gosh, He Must Really Like You!


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*Alarm bells blaring in distance* WARNING, WARNING, DISGUSTING NORMALISATION OF ABUSE ALERT! HARMFUL ASSUMPTIONS ALERT!

JUST DOWNRIGHT STUPID ALERT!

If you tell a child that if someone hits them, that equals affection and love, you know what kind of message that sends the child? It teaches them to tolerate and normalise abuse in relationships, and it is shameful that this message is still being spread to young kids.

When they grow up, how are these kids suppose to realise that this message is wrong? How are they supposed to separate unhealthy behaviour from affection?

To the people spreading this amongst younger people, stop. Just stop. Do this fragile planet a favour and just sit down, shut up, and educate yourself about why this is a horrible assumption to make.

Apparently, Wearing Revealing Clothes Means You're 'Asking For It'.


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*an actual depiction of slut shamers losing their sh-t over a miniskirt. lol sit down Carol nobody cares.

Ah, my personal favourite makes its grand appearance. At long last. In the words of a wise Bond villain, I have been expecting you.

I've encountered this little show-stopper more times than I've inhaled oxygen, and I should have you know that I've been breathing for a good couple of years now. Once I was out with a group of friends and was wearing a new pair of leggings, which were pretty damn cute if I do say so myself, when all of a sudden someone came behind me and did something that made me turn around and ask them just what the hell they thought they were doing.

The person laughed and ran off, and when I told my friend she simply shrugged her shoulders and know what she said?

"Well, you shouldn't have worn leggings then."

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*choking noise*

Excuse me, Carol. I didn't realise this morning when I chose my outfit that I needed to wrap myself in bubblewrap and cover every square inch of my body because God forbid my clothes invoked the attention of some nobody with a disgusting attitude. Forgive me for actually wearing clothes that I like instead of ones that will make the aforementioned ratbag pick on some other girl instead of me.

Because from an early age, instead of being taught to treat others with basic human decency and respect, we are taught to ensure that our skirts aren't too short and that our shoulders are covered (because God forbid). This disgusting slut-shaming is ingrained within us from our youngest years, even in our schools.

(My teacher actually went into a classroom and measured the girls' skirts with a ruler like it was the 1950s like wtf).

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I'm only going to say this once, because I really shouldn't have to say it at all. But I will, because evidently some people didn't get the memo.

What you wear and how you wear it is not an invitation for unwanted advances or harassment. It pains me that one of the first questions asked when a girl is raped is 'well what was she wearing', because that is not relevant in the slightest. This medieval attitude of girls not being allowed to wear whatever the hell they want and being shamed for doing so has to stop, because it is unhealthy and has a direct affect on the attitudes of us as a society.

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So like Regina in the below image, just wear whatever the hell you want. The world needs to change, not my (or your) fashion sense. Because there's some pretty cool clothes out there that are begging me to try them on, and the people who want to shame me for wearing them can just listen to the sound of my miniskirt swishing in the breeze as I walk away.

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*Exhales*. Well, it's been a while since I did a full-on rant post, and that's the Kraken satisfied for a while. If you want to discuss this, don't be afraid to speak up in the comments below, because I want to talk about this.

- Sunset xx

Comments

  1. I love this rant post so much and agree with a ton of it. Honestly, it annoys me because I'm like the most modest dresser ever-- in school I wear mainly leggings or jeans. But the ONE DAY (and it's a spirit day I'm telling you) I decide to wear shorts, everyone goes berserk how I've decided to be "scandalous" for one day.

    Also PREACH about the marriage and kids thing. I do want those things in my life some day, but not right now! It's almost as annoying as when you're entering your senior year and all people are asking you is where you're applying / attending and what you're majoring it. I get we're at the point in life where we think about those things, but can we please talk about other things, as well? Like maybe how to balance things bill wise (because I don't have a grip on any of that except how to split your money for savings-- like HOW DO YOU DO INSURANCE STUFF).

    xoxo Abigail Lennah | ups & downs

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    1. What you wear should be your own personal decision - and being shamed or labeled "scandalous" for your clothes? Stupid. It's nobody else's business. You do you.

      And haha do not ask me about money I have none :) But being pressured into wanting kids and marriage is not okay, and I feel like this pressure is significantly stronger on girls than it is on guys. Like, is it really so unfathomable that I, a woman, would rather focus on a career at this point in my life?

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  2. OMG! I LOVE this post!!!! :)

    Would you mind checking out my book reviews blog at El's Book Reviews and possibly give it a follow? Super excited to read your posts!

    - El

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    1. Thank you! And yes, off to check it out now...

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  3. AHH YES I LOVE THIS!! I'm on the same page as you when it comes to marriage and kids. I don't know where my life will bring me, but I'm not really sure if I want to get married and have kids right now. In fact, I'm pretty sure at least birthing a child is something I don't see myself doing in this lifetime. (I kind of want to adopt an older child, but that's not even the main point I'm trying to make why am I rambling) All of this is so true and not talked about as much as it should be. Thanks for this :)

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    1. also I love the glee gifs

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    2. Thank you (and so do I - Mercedes is the best). Adoption is a wonderful thing and definitely I myself have contemplated for the future, but like yourself I'm not sure. Anyways, it isn't priority numero uno for me, so....

      And thank you again for such a sweet comment! Glad to see you could relate :)

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